The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
