I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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