is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
