Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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