You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
