dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
