Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
