I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
