why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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