Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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