You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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