He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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