Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Four minutes until I can fart!
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
