Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
