You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
