I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
