He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
