i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
