When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
