weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
