He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
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