Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
