spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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