My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
