Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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