I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
