We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
