I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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