last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
