shes about as inviting as chlamydia
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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