I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
