Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
