I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Randomize
