I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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