The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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