I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
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