what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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