$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
