so explain again why im purple
no
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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