guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
