You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
