Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
