what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
