your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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