my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
