So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
