I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
He has the fingertips of a God
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