I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
