I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
