You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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