4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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